1.      Tell how, when and where you learned of the church and what representations the church made to you. Be specific as to dates, locations, and persons within the church who made the representations.

I first learned of the existence of CUT (which was called The Summit Lighthouse at that time) in August of 1971 in a bookstore in Denver, Colorado called The Silver Cord. 

Prior to learning of The Summit Lighthouse, I had completed two years of college and had been working at the telephone company for about two years. 

When I was 22, I saw a series of Pearls of Wisdom called The Human Aura by Kuthumi.  I purchased them and also took home a couple of free brochures about Pearls of Wisdom and The Keepers of the Flame Fraternity that were by the cash register in the store.  I went home and read the Pearls on the Human Aura. I was a bit disappointed in the content because there wasn’t much what I would call interesting info in them.  I briefed through the brochures and put them aside.  At the very beginning of 1972, I picked them up again and sent for Pearls of Wisdom. 

I signed up to receive the weekly Pearls of Wisdom at the beginning of 1972. 

I did not understand what I read in the Pearls most of the time (largely because of the jargon) but I had read about the spiritual hierarchy and I was a Catholic, so I understood that the Pearls were supposedly from saints in a higher realm.  Although I did not grasp all of what I read, I felt there was something to the teachings themselves. 

At the beginning of 1973, I joined the Keepers of the Flame Fraternity and started receiving monthly Keepers of the Flame lessons.  I also signed up to receive monthly tapes published by The Summit Lighthouse.

In those days, the monthly tapes were mostly dictations.  There were very few lectures published on the monthly tapes that I recall hearing. 

On the first tape I received, there was a dictation from Lady Master Leto who said we should strive to become walking encyclopedias of the teachings.  I vowed in that moment that I would do so.  I was a serious student of the masters from that moment on.  I began that very day to outline my Keepers of the Flame lessons so as to absorb the information as best I could.  Indeed, I eventually became known as a walking encyclopedia of the teachings.

In late February of 1973, I received an announcement of Mark Prophet’s ascension in the mail.  I was curious because the only ascension I knew of was Jesus who went up into heaven in a cloud.  I wondered if Mark Prophet ascended the same way.  I called The Summit Lighthouse headquarters in Colorado Springs.  I asked the person who answered just how Mr. Prophet ascended.  She said he made the transition first (meaning he died) and three days later he ascended from inner planes in Colorado Springs. 

A few weeks later I received a tape of Mr. Prophet’s memorial service.  I was impressed and amazed that Mrs. Prophet conducted the service.  I thought at the time, it must have taken courage to do that.

I did not understand how the messengers fit into The Summit Lighthouse, but after Mr. Prophet ascended my interest was piqued.   I sent for a copy of Climb the Highest Mountain. 

What representations were made to you by the church?

When I read Climb the Highest Mountain in the spring of 1973, I came to understand:

1.      The Summit Lighthouse belief system seemed to explain the meaning of life. 

2.      It offered a path to achieve the ascension, which I learned was the goal of life for all people of God. 

3.      Serving the cause of the Great White Brotherhood via the work of The Summit Lighthouse provided a way to serve the will of God, make a meaningful contribution to life and be part of something so much bigger than myself.  

Finding the meaning of life was one of the main quests in my life at that time.  I was seeking to do the will of God and looking for something to dedicate my life to. 

When I had graduated from high school several years earlier, I had intended to enter the Carmelite monastery, but the Mother Superior told me to go to college for a year.  During that year, I came to believe in reincarnation.  I knew that my belief would be a point of conflict in the monastery, so I began searching for another spiritual path that would include a belief in reincarnation. Two years later I found The Summit Lighthouse teachings.

In April of 1973, I received a letter from Mrs. Prophet that she wrote to Keepers of the Flame.  In the letter, she detailed Mark’s passing and ascension.  She told of how she was called to be a messenger of the Great White Brotherhood, our mission to fulfill the mission of the World Mother in this age and thereby bring in the golden age of enlightenment.  Wow.  This was even bigger than I had thought.

I attended the Freedom conference in late June to early July of 1973.  It was held at a tent city set up for the conference near Colorado Springs.  I had never been to such a large gathering of people who believed in metaphysics. 

Laying eyes on Mrs. Prophet for the first time was mesmerizing.  She was obviously a very powerful and charismatic leader.  Upon witnessing the first dictation at the conference, I was hooked big time.  I was enthralled with everything I saw and heard at the conference.

In one dictation, it was announced that Jesus had bestowed the office of Vicar of Christ upon Mrs. Prophet.   As a Catholic, I understood that the Vicar of Christ was the representative of Christ on earth.  She was the real Pope!  I was very impressed and in awe of her worthiness to hold such a high and holy office. 

I didn’t want the conference to end.  I couldn’t get enough of the teachings.  I wanted to hear more and more, every day for the rest of my life!  I was thrilled when Mrs. Prophet announced the opening of Ascended Master University (later called Summit University) in Santa Barbara in the fall of 1973.  I had to be there!

I came home from the conference with the view that nothing could be more meaningful than serving the Masters and messengers through the work of The Summit Lighthouse.   I had finally found what I had been searching for all my life!  I returned home a total fanatic.  I turned my whole world upside down to pursue serving the Great White Brotherhood.  

What representations did the church make to you?

Church representations are largely vagaries and intangibles that appealed to my search for an idealistic cause to dedicate my life to and my need to make a meaningful contribution to life.  In almost every dictation through the years, the masters made statements to reinforce the importance of serving the cause of the Great White Brotherhood. . 

For instance, prior to leaving for Santa Barbara to attend Ascended Master University (AMU) in the fall of 1973, I received the Ascended Master Code of Conduct for students who would be attending AMU.  I will quote from it to help convey the seeming absolute loftiness of this path as it came across to me at that time.  [I have added the bold in these quotes from the Code of Conduct.]:

The Ascended Master University….is initiated under the dispensation given by Gautama Buddha on January 1, 1973.  In a dictation given through…Mark L. Prophet…the Regent Mother of the Flame, the Ascended Lady Master Clara Louise, presented to Elizabeth Clare Prophet “a torch charged with the vital fires from God’s heavenly altar and the conveyance of a vast mission to illumine the world’s children and produce the blessing of true culture to the age and unto all people everywhere.”

The torch that was passed to the Mother of the Flame is composed of an infinite number of flame petals comprising the “thousand-petaled lotus” of the Buddhic Consciousness.  Each disciple of the Brotherhood who completes five quarters of study and five quarters of the trial by fire shall be endued by the Mother of the Flame with one of the facets of this torch representing his or her mission on behalf of the Hierarchy.  Each facet of the torch is a petal of Light that shall be expanded through the Heart Flame of the disciple to magnetize the Light of Helios and Vesta for the crystallization of the Golden Age spiral.

Each chela of the Ascended Masters who successfully completes the course compiled by the Hierarchy shall receive a certain dispensation from the Cosmic Christ for the raising of mankind, the planetary body, and elemental life.  Specifically, the disciple shall receive the opportunity to raise all individuals karmically tied to him upon whom the Great Law requires him to bestow the freedom and enlightenment of the Law prior to his ascension.

The opportunity being momentous, the need being great, and the time being short, the following Ascended Master Code of Conduct has been established…to ensure the greatest protection and the greatest perfection for the disciples as they prepare to go forth…to “the lost sheep of the house of Israel” and to secure the remnant of the sons and daughters of God evolving upon earth for the Golden Age…

I attended the first 12-week quarter of Ascended Master University in Santa Barbara in the fall of 1973.

By the time I arrived at AMU, my new belief system was almost complete.  After the twelve weeks, Mrs. Prophet was firmly in place on a pedestal of idolatry and I was completely swept up in The Summit Lighthouse way of life.  I was determined to attend five levels of Ascended Master University and be part of the “vast mission to illumine the world’s children.”  It became my life purpose.

After the first quarter, I returned home to Denver until level two of AMU.

I attended the inaugural level two at AMU in the spring of 1974 at Santa Barbara.

After that quarter, I returned home to Denver again.  Third level of AMU (by this time redubbed Summit University) was postponed until the fall of 1975.  It was announced that a prerequisite for attending third level of SU was serving on staff for three months.  I joined the staff of The Summit Lighthouse in Colorado Springs in mid-June of 1975 in order to be eligible for level three in the fall.

I was required to pay room and board during those three months on staff because I was an SU student working to fulfill the requirement for third level.  I wasn’t viewed as an official staff member.

I attended the first level three of AMU/Summit University in the fall of 1975 in Colorado Springs.

At the end of that quarter, Mrs. Prophet appealed to Summit University students to join staff.  I jumped at the chance.  (Incidentally, levels four and five of SU were never held.  No one ever completed five levels.)

I became an official staff member the day after third level ended in late December of 1975.

I served on staff for the next 21 years. 

The church has always claimed that people were free to leave at any time.  Technically, that is correct.  But the psychological landscape within the church made it very, very difficult to do so if you really believed the teachings. 

In addition, one’s time was taken up 24/7 and at times the diet was not conducive to clear thinking.  The stringent rules regarding relationships made for an unnatural social environment as well.  We were also isolated from outside information to a large degree in the earlier years and to a lesser degree as time went on.

From day one, I struggled to stay on staff.  Over the years I almost left numerous times.  I was always terribly conflicted about leaving because I remembered many teachings that Mrs. Prophet gave through the years about leaving staff.  It started at Ascended Master University with the teaching from Jesus in the Bible about the person who sets his/her hand to the plow cannot look back.  

After I got on staff, the teachings about leaving staff became more threatening:

·        There was a staff member who left shortly after I joined staff.  Mrs. Prophet held a staff meeting where she described a giant hand coming out of the sky and removing a link from a huge chain and putting the chain back together again.  She said that the vision represented the staff member being removed from the chain of the Great White Brotherhood because he had left staff. 

·        Another staff member around that time had been dismissed from staff for having an affair with another staff member.   Mrs. Prophet said that the Lords of Karma issued an edict casting the staff member into outer darkness. 

·        In the early days on staff, almost every time a staff member left, a staff meeting was convened and the messenger vilified the person who left.   The thought of being vilified to my peers kept me there at times.

·        At these staff meetings, Mrs. Prophet would sometimes give teaching about how the person had failed his/her test and it was his/her final opportunity in this life to pass his/her tests and serve the light.  She would sometimes tell of previous embodiments and failed tests of the person in question.  She would often comment on the spiritual state of the person who left. 

·        Many times, there was a sense of high drama around staff leaving.  One time, there was even a dictation about a staff member’s departure.  When this person left in 1978, El Morya gave a dictation in which he described how terribly the person had failed her tests.  This person had the audacity to disagree with the messenger and to tell her to her face.  Mrs. Prophet said she witnessed the person’s ascended twin flame pleading desperately before the Lords of Karma on the person’s behalf.  Mrs. Prophet said she had never seen an ascended master in such a state.

·        In the early ‘80’s in Malibu, Mrs. Prophet said that permanent staff members were beyond the point of no return in terms of leaving staff.  It was too late to go back. 

·        Some of the flights of people from staff took place in the night.  This always got Mrs. Prophet’s goat.  She said that one guy who left in the night from the Minneapolis Teaching Center in the early ‘80’s had committed spiritual suicide by his action.  (He returned to staff a few years later and is now involved in the governing body of the church.  Go figure.)

·        Then there was the teaching that when you joined staff, Mrs. Prophet held the balance for your personal karma while you balanced world karma through your service.  If you ever left staff, you would get back your own bundle of karma as you left the front gate.  Sometimes when someone would leave and something bad happened to that person, staff would talk about that person’s karma being upon him/her because he/she had left staff.  I always felt like there was a 900-pound gorilla waiting for me at the front gate if I ever chose to leave staff.

This was all serious stuff to me.  Knowing and remembering these things kept me from leaving staff for years. 

Aside from one’s personal spiritual safety, there was the always-present threat of world cataclysm that motivated me to think twice about leaving.  Since I had come into the teachings in 1972, there was an undercurrent of a very real threat of imminent social, economic and political chaos and/or physical cataclysm.  If anything did happen, I wanted to be wherever Mrs. Prophet was because I figured the masters would take care of her in times of trouble.  She had a direct link to heaven.  I thought that the masters would not let anything happen to her. The masters told us to be prepared for the worst at all times.

In spite of the dangers of leaving, I had several major struggles to stay on staff.  I will give you a few examples:

·        In the spring of 1976, I was working on Mrs. Prophet’s personal household staff.  Things were always tenuous and rocky around her.  One night she came home late and I told her that one of her daughters had been up very late because she wouldn’t go to bed.  Mrs. Prophet laid into me with the worst tongue-lashing I had ever had.  I went home late and had to be back early the next morning.  Mrs. Prophet started in again the next morning. 

I was shaken up by it and after Mrs. Prophet left for the day, I wondered out loud to one of my colleagues if I were cut out for the job.  Within a very short time, word got to Mrs. Prophet about what I had said.  She ordered me out of the house and via her spokesperson said that if I did not want to work on her household staff there was not place for me.  I could think about it over the weekend and give her my answer on Sunday. 

I struggled with the possible consequences of leaving and decided to stay.  Mrs. Prophet said that I had come to this same place on the path in several past embodiments and that I had always turned back in the past.  This time I had passed my test.  She said that since I had decided to stay, she could offer me a job working at headquarters answering the phone and helping out in the graphics department.  I was relieved but I felt for the next 20 years that I had failed.  I worked for many years after that to prove myself worthy to work for her again.

·        In the spring of 1977, I reached a point of total frustration because of run-arounds that various church administrators were giving me.  Then we were told that it was mandatory for staff to eat a raw food diet for one week.  That was the straw for me.  I went to a board member’s office and told him I was quitting staff.  Within minutes after I left his office, my department head had me in her office and handed me what I had been trying to get from the church administrators for weeks.  I decided to stay on staff.

·        I came close to leaving again in the summer of 1977 when I asked for time off to go to my sister’s wedding in Colorado.  Permission was denied.  I was very upset and I was embarrassed to tell my family but I did.  A few weeks later, my mom asked me to ask again.  I did so.  Much to my surprise, I was given permission to leave for 72 hours.  I was grateful for that much and hurried off to Colorado for a whirlwind preparation and wedding.  I had to leave Saturday evening after the Saturday afternoon wedding.  I got back to the church campus and holed up in my office.  I didn’t even see anyone for a whole day.  I was very depressed and mad because I realized there was no reason why I couldn’t have stayed in Colorado for a few days.

Fortunately for staff, Jonestown happened in early 1978.  After that, the church bent over backwards to not look like a cult.  If there was anything good that came out of Jonestown, it was that it made life a little more bearable for staff. 

We actually had a little time off on rare occasions.  For the first time ever, we were encouraged to stay in touch with family, at least enough to make them think we were staying in touch but not so much that we would be overcome with family mesmerism.  Doing things to look weird in public such as decreeing outloud were banned.

In the spring of 1982, Archangel Michael gave us a target date to plan around in terms of being in the right place prepared for world changes.  That date was January 1, 1987.  From that spring of 1982 on, I looked to that date to keep me focused when things got unbearable on staff.  I was able to weather the times I wanted to leave staff until the spring of 1990. 

Things changed drastically at that time.  It was the end of the so-called shelter cycle.  Life had begun to return to a semblance of normalcy following the peak crisis period in March and April. Staff started to leave in droves.  I was unfulfilled and unhappy on staff.  I wanted to pursue my education and a real career.  I wanted out, too. 

I wrote a proposal to Mrs. Prophet about leaving and going to Denver to work to pay some credit card debt I had incurred during the shelter cycle.  I had to include specific expenses to the penny.  The secretary who handled Mrs. Prophet’s mail told me my proposal was the next item in Mrs. Prophet’s inbox.  A few days later, the secretary told me that when Mrs. Prophet got to my proposal, she decided to quit reviewing staff mail.  She was going into seclusion and didn’t want to deal with it.  I was disappointed and frustrated. 

I was hanging on by my fingernails.  Something had to give.  I made up my mind that I would watch and pray for a few more weeks.  If things did not get better for me, I would resign from staff in August and leave for good.

Then, out of the blue, in early June Mrs. Prophet appointed me to be a teaching assistant at Summit University.  I was delighted.  As it worked out, what I really ended up doing was being an instructor.  I loved teaching at SU.  It gave me a chance to share my knowledge of the teachings in a creative way.  I loved being with the students and they also loved my classes.  It was a win-win situation for everyone.  It was a bright spot in my life that I could lose myself in. 

All told, I taught at SU for five years.  I taught as many as eight topics during a quarter.  It was great.  I was the most popular instructor at SU.  My popularity   didn’t set well with some of my colleagues or, I would come to find out, Mrs. Prophet herself.  But it was fun for me and kept me going for a while. 

But I was still restless.  I realized the editorial department where I worked most of the time was a dead end for me.  I would never be given the opportunity to do more than make the indexes for the books, fact-check, do research and prepare Mrs. Prophet’s lectures.  I felt I had more to give to life and I wrote Mrs. Prophet in January of 1993 and told her so.  I told her I wanted to leave to go to school and get my degree and become a counselor.  Then I started to research and apply to colleges.

It took Mrs. Prophet almost a month to get back to me.  On February 2, 1993, Mrs. Prophet called me to her office.  I was petrified of leaving staff but determined to get a more fulfilling life.  I was very nervous waiting outside Mrs. Prophet’s office to talk to her about my letter.  She said that when she took my letter to the altar, El Morya showed her that there was a mantle forming around me that was the “office of historian of the Great White Brotherhood.”  She seemed to be impressed by what El Morya had shown her.

What representations did the church make to you?

She said that she did not want me to leave to go to school but that I could stay on staff and go to school full-time.  She said she would raise my salary to pay for school and my expenses.  

I was relieved and happy at the outcome.  It turned out to be a Catch-22, though.  No one from the accounting office ever contacted me about what I needed.  I just got a bigger paycheck.  When I got my first check after my meeting with Mrs. Prophet with my new raise from the church it was not enough to pay for school and my expenses.  In fact, it barely covered expenses.  And there was a catch to it all:  in order to get a salary from the church, I had to work 40 hours a week.  I felt I could not go to school full-time and work 40 hours a week. 

I didn’t press the issue with Mrs. Prophet about my salary.  It was too much of a  hassle to try to get another audience with her.  I thought that I would probably have had to put together another proposal, which I hated doing.

Instead, I decided to compromise and attend school part-time and put in my 40 hours a week on staff.  I got student loans to pay for school.  Heck, 40 hours a week was nothing.  I was used to working 15-18 hours a day seven days a week.  I was no longer under the thumb of my supervisor. I could make my own schedule.  Now, I had freedom!  I had my own car to get to school and I had more time to myself than I ever had on staff.  I put 15,000 miles on my car just celebrating my freedom.  It was wonderful!

I loved school.  I had great instructors and interesting classes.  I felt I was working towards something worthwhile. 

After I had attended school part-time for two years, it began to irritate Mrs. Prophet that I was doing it and not available to her 24/7.  I had always had a thing about Ireland and she knew it.  In the summer of 1995, she cut a deal with me that if I quit going to school, she would send me all over the world to lecture for the church.  As part of the deal, she said I could go to Ireland twice a year to lecture.  It was a no-brainer for me at the time.  I was thrilled at the idea of going to Ireland regularly.  Also, the newness of school had worn off and I was ready for a break.

At the end of SU in September, I did not return to school but began to plan a lecture tour of Ireland.  A part-time staff member from Ireland and me began making serious plans, including fund-raising.  It stalled for some reason.  It seems Mrs. Prophet really didn’t want me going to Ireland at that time.  The fall turned into the New Year and nothing had happened. 

January 1, 1996 marks the beginning of the end for me on staff.  That day I gave a public presentation at the New Years’ conference at the Ranch about Summit publications.  I had gotten a haircut the previous week.  The beautician had absolutely scalped me.  I was embarrassed at how short my hair was, but there wasn’t anything I could do about it except wait for it to grow out. 

After I completed my presentation, I went to the bookstore.  On the way over, several staff and conferees complimented me on my presentation.  When I walked into the bookstore I saw N. D., S. K. and Mrs. Prophet’s male hairdresser whispering together in a corner of the store.  As soon as they saw me, they stopped talking.  I knew immediately they were talking about me. 

I knew something was brewing.  Sure enough, on a Sunday night in mid-January of 1996, I was summoned to headquarters to go see Mrs. Prophet in her home.  The women from the Office of Ministry—S.K., N.S., and N.D.-- along with the staff psychologist M.B. were there.  I knew something big was up.

As it turned out, I was there for a kangaroo court.  The women proceeded to read a document that outlined in detail all of my supposed flaws.  They said my hair was too short.  My dress was too masculine.  I was not a team player….blah, blah, blah.  Much of what they said about me was petty and untrue. 

The document also contained distortions of statements I had made at various times.  These

were taken out of context and presented in a way to discredit me.

G. V. relayed his own belittling comments, which were also untrue.  The things he said about me were so out of character, even Mrs. Prophet said he couldn’t make statements like that without some kind of proof.

I was in shock.  I knew I was under the microscope and I had damn well react like a “chela” or it was the end for me.  I was scared.  I buckled under the pressure and agreed with everything they said about me and promised I would do better and change.

Mrs. Prophet sat there and listened to everything.  She asked me if I would like to go on the upcoming lecture tour of the southwest to get lecture training from N.D. and S.K. to prepare for my own lecture tour.  I said I would.  She said okay.  The lecture team would be leaving the Ranch at the end of the month. 

I was badly shaken by the ambush.  After I got home from the meeting, I didn’t sleep much that night.  By the next morning, I was mad.  I decided I was going to take the church for everything I could.  If I were not given the opportunity to do a lecture tour to Ireland after the southwest tour, I decided I would resign from staff.  

Mrs. Prophet’s hairdresser and fashion consultant found several new and expensive outfits for me.  I got contacts, new glasses, good make-up and new hairdo.  They created me in their image.  I didn’t feel it was really me, but I went along with it.

When the lecture tour left the Ranch and headed south by van, I was public enemy number one.  For the most part, both S.K. and N.D. were cold towards me.  S.K. was controlling and tyrannical.  She even told me where to sit in the van every day.  There was a strained undercurrent among us.  I felt they were calling back to headquarters and talking about me in their very lengthy conversations.  I couldn’t do a thing about it, either.  The Keepers where we stayed all loved me and I think that irked S.K. and N.D.  They did their best to leave me out of any decision-making on the trip.

To make a long story short, I injured my back severely in Albuquerque.  By the time we got to San Antonio, I was in agony and on Sunday morning after the Saturday night stump I had great difficulty getting out of bed.   I was in a lot of pain and I was worried about being disabled with a back injury.  I had no insurance and knew the church wouldn’t take care of me.  

I had a tearful meeting with S.K. and N.D. S.K. told me I hurt my back because I was trying to get out of lecturing on the tour.  She also said that I “needed psychotherapy big time.” N.D. told me my back injury reflected my pride.  She said I had a problem with authority figures. 

We agreed I should stay in San Antonio and let the team go on without me on the lecture tour.  I would stay in San Antonio until I was well enough to fly home to Montana. I returned to Montana on March 17.  I went back to work in my office at headquarters but was in a lot of pain. 

When S.K. and N.D. got back from the tour in April, they came together to my office to see me.  It was strained.  I told S.K. about my pain.  She told me to go home to my room and rest to get better.  I did so.  I was seeing the chiropractor twice a week and he was telling me to rest, also.  I had some work with me in my room and I did some there but not much. 

I was lonely and isolated in my room.  I felt I was being ostracized by staff who used to be my so-called friends.  I knew rumors were circulating about me.  People were stand offish.  It was a painful and difficult time for me.  During the Easter conference, I had no interest in attending any of it.   I stayed in my room. 

My back was slow to heal.  By the end of April, I wasn’t much better.  I was just waiting to get well enough to pack up and leave.  Time dragged on. 

My father passed away on April 27, 1996 in Denver.  Naturally, his passing upset me.  When I got word that he had died, I felt there was no minister on staff I could talk to.  In my mind, there were no real ministers in CUT.  They were all posturing and vying for position and power around the messenger.  

I drove to the Catholic Church in Livingston that day and found comfort in the silence of the church there. My doctor had advised me against traveling to Denver to see my dad at the end, so I stayed in Montana.

A few days later, M. B. came to my room and fired me on Mrs. Prophet’s behalf.  She told me I was being let go because of my back injury.  We both knew it was a lie but I knew in the moment I had to go along with it.  She would report back to Mrs. Prophet about how I reacted.  I was calm and cool about it.  I had already decided I was leaving and so I had the presence of mind to ask for a small severance package.  M.B. said she would ask Mrs. Prophet about it. 

I didn’t sleep well that night because I was afraid I would be put out on the highway literally the next day and I was in no position to lift boxes.  I had seen many people put out like that through the years and I worried that would be my fate.  Once a person was dismissed, they were considered poison to the rest of the staff.

I had told M.B. that my doctor had said I would probably not be well enough to travel until the first part of July.  Via M.B., Mrs. Prophet gave me permission to stay in my room on the Ranch until then and she also approved my severance package.  After one more crisis, I left the Ranch permanently on July 7, 1996.  Before I drove away from the Ranch for the last time,  I got out of the car and shook the dust off of my feet.

Since that awful night in January during the kangaroo court, I had never heard a word from Mrs. Prophet directly.  I was so hurt that she would listen to the distortions if not outright lies that N.D. and S. K. told her about me.  I had been on staff longer than either one of them.  Mrs. Prophet did not even bother to hear my side of the story when she heard things that were out of character for me.

As I took my leave of the Ranch for the last time, I sent a letter to Mrs. Prophet telling my side of the lecture tour fiasco with S.K. and N.D.  I thought that surely I would hear back something from Mrs. Prophet.  As the weeks passed, I was bitterly disappointed to realize I would never hear a word.  Mrs. Prophet let me down big time in the end.  To this day, I have never heard a word from Mrs. Prophet or any CUT administrator.   Twenty-five years of devoted service didn't mean a thing to anyone there.  It was a bitter pill to swallow.

I had confirmation that S.K. and N.D. had spoken untruths about me.   A fellow staff member came to me on the eve of my departure from the Ranch and said that while I had been on the road with S.K. and N.D, they had been phoning back regular reports to K.B. (a board member at that time) about how bad I was and how my dweller was getting out of hand.  K.B. then mouthed these reports to other staff and they decreed against me.  It only confirmed what I had suspected all along. 

2.      State all...contributions or other money or property you paid or conveyed to the church and the dates of all such conveyances or payments, as well as the amount of each.